


gasoline

by roboticdisposition



Series: he was always wanting [4]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: But they figure it out, M/M, and its all a bit delicate still, i promise this is the last part sdlkjfslkjds no more after this, its like will just after the last part, so this is that, someone stop me if i tell u im writing more, this is just pure soft, this series needed a soft end for all the pain i accidentally wrote, ur welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 02:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17931401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roboticdisposition/pseuds/roboticdisposition
Summary: Will knew he was still half asleep, love drunk and hazy, but it wasn’t like that mattered.Alex was there, he was real, and he wanted him; he was more potent than pure poison itself.--Will’s face went soft, he felt his eyes glaze over and his skin flush, he wanted this so much he felt breathless, “I’m not going to run,” he said instead of responding, “I promise.”





	gasoline

**Author's Note:**

> hi so i didn't mean to write this but somehow it happened so here i am i guess, i liked how i ended the last part but this is just like these two idiots being soft and i wanted to leave it with that so here u go i hope u enjoy x

Will didn’t immediately panic when he opened his eyes, shortening of breath coming moments later; his eyes were fixed onto Alex’s lashes, fluttered shut, hands curled up to his chest, hair flopped against the pillowcase.

He was so pretty, delicate, almost. Will inhaled deeply, sweat airing around the room, Alex’s aftershave diving down his throat. It was overwhelming, surrounded by everything he wanted.

It was when Alex shuffled closer did Will’s muscles relax, breath catching in his throat as his fingers clawed closer to him. He was asleep, it gave Will some time to process the backlog of everything in his head.

When Alex stormed off after they’d had the chat about the kiss in his room it was like Will’s world collapsed into two. He’d tasted his lips, licked into his mouth, faces close, breaths together - it was everything. He was terrified, simply terrified.

He never wanted to ruin them, the endless fear acting as a driving force to stay away at the back of his head, but no matter how much he knew he should, he couldn’t force himself out of Alex’s atmosphere.

He just had to get it into the open, the broken bottle of feelings stuck in his throat, glass tearing at his flesh from the inside out as he tried to keep it in. In the end, he couldn’t. He wanted to kiss him, wanted to dance with him, limbs heavy and foreign at some club, he wanted everything he could offer and more.

It was eating him up, chunks taken from his organs every time he tried to push the emotion down. There was always that little spark of something tingly and bright crawling through his skin, he couldn’t take it anymore.

But Alex walked out, when he said he wanted to kiss him. He’d broken down in the end, tears down his face as George found him. They’d sat on the sofa and played Fifa once he’d calmed down, trying to forget the storm going on around him, yet it was demanding and constant and he couldn’t just forget.

Alex returned eventually, Will’s heart racing with his lungs open, able to breathe again. He couldn’t keep pushing it down, had to get it out there, had to make it final how he felt and if that was that then so be it. Everything was always so jolted and engineered, as if nothing came naturally with them anymore.

It made Will feel sick, bile rising in his throat. He had to fix it, couldn’t keep going over the same things over and over like a broken record.

When he snogged him in the kitchen, pushing his hips back against the counter, he felt his veins come alive, bright with electrics, giddy with desire. He was terrified, but it was real.

His chest pounded as words were exchanged, whispered promises fixing broken cracks. It felt like maybe it was something, after all. Alex looked at him, big and doe-eyed and Will let himself truly believe maybe he did want him.

Something thick and concerning filled his chest as he led Alex to his room, fingers interlocked, palms together, giggles in sync as they shut the door behind them.

Alex wanted this, Will thought, as they undressed, it was like he was dreaming. His hands wandering, his breath catching, something electric taking over his worries and letting him believe in this - in them.

He knew they hadn’t really had a proper chat, but it wasn’t like that mattered when he was two fingers deep, Alex’s legs tucked around his waist and his head thrown back.

It was everything really, when he thought back.

He let his fingers inch closer to Alex’s skin, memories fading away as the present moment took over. It felt like everything had frozen, like the world had stopped around them and this was all that mattered.

Will knew he was still half asleep, love drunk and hazy, but it wasn’t like that mattered.

Alex was there, he was real, and he wanted him; he was more potent than pure poison itself.

His fingertips ran along Alex’s collarbone, bare and shivery when he made contact. It was like he was touching something raw and dangerous, but precious and small. Alex exhaled, still asleep when Will let his instincts take over and guide his fingers down his shoulder, feeling muscle beneath his hands, warm and alive.

A part of him wondered if Alex was just drunk last night - heady and wanting. Something sparked in his chest, knowing it was real, trying to prove it as warmth spread through his body, staring at Alex in front of him.

Maybe he was just there and Alex needed someone, but again that little something deep in his bones felt like it was more than that.

He couldn’t keep worrying, he thought, shaking his head, hair ruffling against Alex’s pillow, he had to believe him. Will’s hand fell away, something bold rising in his chest leading him to stroke his fingers down Alex’s outstretched palm, skin soft and gentle as he linked their hands together.

It felt real, he thought. And maybe it was.

Alex woke up then, eyes wide and soft, body stretching out as he looked up at Will, straightening his fingers before tightening them together. They sealed like a padlock, fitting seamlessly.

He was so pretty, Will thought, pushing away any doubts and fears in favour of what was in front of him, staring at him like he hung the stars. It was heady and exhilarating and all Will could do was smile.

“You sleep alright?” Alex muttered, returning his smile, teeth wide and lips red.

“Did actually,” Will whispered, as if something was going to shatter - as if it was a dream he would awake from. “Did you?”

“Best sleep in a while,” Alex confessed, spare hand rubbing his eyes, “I’m glad you’ve not run off, if I’m honest.”

He looked vulnerable and small and Will clenched his eyes shut, desperately wanting to make things right.

“I am too,” he whispered, barely audible in the silence of Alex’s room, light peaking through the curtains as Alex shuffled closer.

“Do you want to run?” Alex asked, spare hand combing through Will’s hair, tugging out the knots of product stuck in the strands.

“I’m just… scared,” Will stumbled, truths spilling out of his gentle tone. It terrified him, sharing something so fragile and real, but he was powerless. He needed this.

Alex shuffled closer, hands still combined between their chests, fingers through his hair, “I’m here,” Alex whispered, sounding just as whispy and breakable. “It’s okay, you know.”

 

Will inhaled shakily, Alex’s words ripping apart Will’s resolve. The barriers he’d carefully constructed tumbled down, his chest feeling open and free. He tucked his head into Alex’s shoulder, cheek against his collarbone, feeling small but safe.

“It’s okay,” Will repeated, breath brushing across Alex’s neck. “And… you don’t want to run, do you?” He asked slowly, scared of the answer even though deep down he knew the truth.

“No, I’m good here.” Alex whispered, voice cracking, tucking his chin down to keep Will close, “As long as you are too.”

Will hummed, nodding as he curled his arms in, holding Alex’s one palm in his own between their bodies. He stroked down his fingers, needing the contact, needing the reassurance that this wasn’t some fantasy that’d be broken when the clock struck twelve.

“It’s okay,” Alex repeated again, his hand limp between Will’s, his chest breathing heavy.

He was there, and he was real, Will thought again, like a mantra he couldn’t break. He was there, and that meant something.

\--

Alex didn’t leave his side all day, as if he was scared Will might run off after all. Will didn’t, instead he clung to him, relishing in company he thought was forbidden.

They’d done a video, Alex acting as cameraman by checking the memory card wasn’t full every two seconds, they’d gone to Tesco, stocking up on tea and having an argument about which type was best. Then they’d gotten back - to Will’s this time, Alex chatting to Gee while he made drinks.

It all felt so sparkly and new and Will was terrified it was going to crack. Every nervous glance at Alex felt charged, every brush of limbs was devastating. It was all dainty and delicate and Will felt like he was a ballet dancer on tiptoes.

“Fucking hurry up Will,” Gee called, “Doesn’t take an hour to make some bloody tea.”

“Excuse me, I am juggling three orders at once here, respect the chef.”

Will heard Alex laugh, noise lighting up his cheeks with red flames, “You’re not a chef mate, you burn pasta you do.”

“I do not, thank you very much.” Will stormed back in, juggling three cups, forgetting instantly whose was whose.

Gee took hers to her room, Alex sat back against the sofa, feet on the coffee table as he sipped his drink and Will felt like his muscles were melting as he sat next to him, warmth shooting between bodies like a shotgun.

“‘S good, thanks,” Alex hummed, nodding at his tea, reaching for the remote for the TV. It all felt so normal, nothing stilted, just natural. It was scary, having something like they had before, sat casually with nothing going on, yet everything had shifted.

They were still the same people, just things were different now. Things were drenched in gasoline and sparked with a lighter, blazing and bright.

“You alright then?” Alex whispered eventually, soft voice overloading the brash noises from the screen, “You know uh - was today okay, with us.”

Will looked down at his lap, picking his nails, “Yeah, love being around you, you know that - always have, it’s just - a lot, really,” he confessed gently, Alex’s eyes watching his face, “It’s so much and I don’t want to ruin this.”

“I know,” Alex hummed, steady and reassuring, Will looked at him, something soaring through his chest trying to escape through his throat. “I like whatever this is though, if you do too-”

“I do, you know I do,” Will felt Alex’s hand on his knee, warm and real and he relaxed, allowing himself to sink into the comfort without letting panic overwhelm him.

Alex tucked his feet up under his legs, body leaning into Will’s side as he put his mug down, “I’m glad, really do fancy you rather. I never meant to take it too far though, after that night where you said, you know… but it just - I wanted more.”

“I always wanted it,” Will gulped, tilting his head to rest on Alex’s where it was tucked in his shoulder, hair soft brushing against his cheek, “It just scared me, you’re a lot if you hadn’t gathered.

Alex huffed a laugh, breathy against Will’s shoulder, “You don’t think you are?” He poked his chest, “Big and demanding you are.”

“Fuck off,” Will said weightlessly, words floating through the air like they were distant. They trailed off, eyes on the TV as Alex nestled into his side, bodies tangled, warmth shared.

Will opened his mouth again, trying to voice how he felt, but shut it instead, smiling at Alex’s fingers resting on his chest. It was something, Will thought, it didn’t matter what, but it was there and he never wanted it to leave.

“This good?” Alex muttered, voice drenched in gold. His fingertips curled in the fabric, nails tugging as he tucked his knees up to his chest, resting between their bodies.

Will’s face went soft, he felt his eyes glaze over and his skin flush, he wanted this so much he felt breathless, “I’m not going to run,” he said instead of responding, “I promise.”

He felt Alex’s eyes look up at his jaw, sensing his muscles relax into him as the words sunk in, “I’m glad, I don’t want you to. Rather like you here - rather like you wanting to be here.”

Will hummed, “Just scary, innit?” His arm curled around Alex’s body, tethering him to the reality he’d found himself in, “Liking you, and all.” The words faded into the air like smoke, he didn’t panic, didn’t feel any urge to escape and hide, he felt vulnerable and open, like he was finally being honest.

“That’s alright,” Alex pressed his lips against Will’s throat, “I’m very big and scary, extremely intimidating - only right to be scared by me." He nuzzled back in, his tone gentle when he spoke again, "You’re the scariest of all though, all tall and pretty, making me feel things - bit terrifying, that is.”

The words stole Will’s breath, just a bit, “I’m a softie mate-”

“A big scary softie,” Alex interrupted, “But that’s okay, the best things are the scary things, after all. It's gonna be fine, promise." He intertwined their knuckles before he spoke again, "I'll make sure of it."

**Author's Note:**

> i promise this is gonna be the last part sdkjsdk but no really i hope u liked it thank u for all ur kudos and comments on the series and shit its been proper lovely and i really do appreciate it, thank u hope i didn't fuck it up at the final hurdle lol


End file.
